These are only a few things. Don’t limit yourself to this list. And remember, you know sin first of all by comparing yourself with the Standard of Goodness and Kindness, Mary’s Son, Jesus. You do this by accepting His invitation, in His grace, to do this. Spend some minutes just before the Lord, heart to Heart. Then examine your conscience. Here’s a brief overview, using the ten commandments with the precepts of the Church and lists of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. There are also sins of ommission, especially as pointed out by the latter lists of the works of mercy, no?
(1) Have I failed to pray? Do I participate in the sacraments regularly? Have things and events been more important than my obligations towards God? Was I irreverent in Church? Have I received Holy Communion while in mortal sin? Have I neglected being Confirmed? Do I study and promote the Catholic Church? Have I been willingly bitter against God? Have I rejected any teachings of the Church? Have I despaired? Have I been superstitious, even using astrology, fortune tellers, horoscopes, occult “games”? Have I taken undue pride in myself or my accomplishments? Have I supported the Church? Have I fasted and abstained on the appointed days?
(2) Have I used God’s name in vain or cursed others. Have I blasphemed God, or have I provoked others to blaspheme God? Have I mocked the saints or anything sacred?
(3) Have I kept the Lord’s day and the Holy Days of Obligation sacred? Have I missed Mass on these days without a serious reason? Have I done unnecessary labor on Sundays? According to my circumstances, have I spent time with my family or friends in recreation on the Lord’s day?
(4) Have I respected and obeyed my parents and other superiors? Have I helped them in time of need? Have I dealt well with those who are under my authority? Have I seen to the religious education of my children or given bad example to them? Have I violated any just laws?
(5) Have I committed violence against myself (including, for instance, sterilization)? Have I hated others, or held a grudge? Have I taken or desired revenge against others? Have I taken or sold drugs, abused alcohol, been gluttonous? Have I endangered the lives of others by carelessness (for instance, by reckless driving, driving while intoxicated, etc.)? Have I fought with others? Have I been impatient? Have I attempted suicide. Have I committed murder, been an accomplice to murder, or wilfully desired someone’s improvident death? Have I committed, attempted, approved of, promoted or helped in an abortion, a suicide, or act of so-called euthanasia? [Note that so-called contraceptives like Plan B, Ella, RU-486, any morning-after-pill, and others, including injections, implants (such as Norplant, etc.) have abortifacient effects and can be murderous of unborn children. Also note that anyone using the “Pill” in order to “regulate” one’s cycle must refrain from marital relations because of both contraceptive and abortifacient “side effects.” Note that IVF (in-vitro-fertilization) usually kills very many children who are simply discarded or forever frozen or are used for experimentation. IVF is also wrong because the loss of the unitive aspect of the act of marriage.]
(6 & 9) Have I observed the marriage laws of the Church? Am I using contraceptives? Am I using Natural Family Planning for selfish reasons? Have I denied conjugal rights to my spouse without good reason (sickness, etc.)? Have I committed adultery, fornication, self-abuse, homosexual acts, etc.? Have I done things which obviously belong only in marriage, where the proper consummation of such activity can take place? Have I given scandal to children or others? Have I dressed immodestly? Have I kept bad company? Have I put myself, my children, or others in a proximate occasion of sin by using, selling, or providing obscene books, magazines, films, videos, TV programs or internet sites? Have I purposely dwelt on impure thoughts? Do I make use of filthy language, sexual innuendoes, or tell immoral jokes or stories?
(7) Did I steal anything? [The priest may require restitution in one way or another, if that is possible. Try to do any restitution you know you must do before coming to Confession. You must bear the fruits of your repentance after all!] Have I destroyed another’s property? Have I wilfully gone into debt with no means of payment? Have I refused to help the poor when I was able, or have I, instead, been overly jealous of my goods, egotistically keeping everything for myself? Have I cheated others? Have I paid employees promptly and justly, and given them proper working conditions? Do I cheat my employer by not working diligently? Have I been selfish? Have I misused the talents God has given me? Have I been lazy? Have I strengthened and supported the Church, for instance, my parish, the missions, the Holy Father, charitable works?
(8) Have I lied? Did I make rash judgments, been suspicious, or unduly critical of others? Have I hurt others reputation by word or deed in detraction (if it was something that did not need to be said) or slander (if it was a lie)? Have I tried to repair the good name of someone whom I seriously hurt in this way? Have I perjured myself, or committed fraud?
(10) Have I been envious of my neighbor’s goods, always wanting what someone else has instead of trusting the providence of God and using the talents that I do have to the best of my ability?
The corporal works of mercy
Feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, bury the dead.
The spiritual works of mercy
Admonish the sinner, instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, comfort the sorrowful, bear wrongs patiently, forgive all injuries, pray for the living and the dead.
The obligation of Confession
It is obligatory to go to confess any grave sins in kind and number (including important circumstances), once a year, as an absolute minimum. Having said that, the Church highly recommends frequent confession, once a month or fortnightly, even if one has not committed any mortal sins since one’s last confession. If one falls into mortal sin, one should seek absolution as soon as possible. The sacrament grants forgiveness through sanctifying grace, i.e., God’s gift of charity, which gives us strength to remain and grow in God’s friendship.
FOR THE USUAL PARTICIPATION IN CONFESSION ONE NEEDS:
(1) To make an examination of conscience
Sometimes it helps to compare one’s life with the virtues, one’s duties in life, the ten commandments, the precepts of the Church, the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, and so on. One should keep in mind that sin is not only wrought with wilfully evil thoughts, words, or deeds, but also with any omission of something which we really ought to have done. One has to know something is a sin and will this with sufficient reflection.
(2) To make an act of contrition
This sorrow is expressed imperfectly though sufficiently by some who, because of their sins, fear the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. The Church urges us to have perfect contrition, i.e., truly being sorry through an act of charity, of love for God and neighbor.
(3) To have a firm purpose of amendment.
As with a true act of contrition, this amendment of life excludes the sin of presumption, that is, presuming that we can chose to sin because we think God will forgive us no matter what. God forgives those who are humble and contrite.
(4) To confess any serious sins according to their kind, number of times committed, and any grave circumstances.
This is called an integral confession. A sacrilegious confession takes place when, in normal circumstances, graves sins are not confessed, or not all of them. Confessing “I cheated” is not sufficient if the reference is to frequent adultery which has caused a divorce and much suffering to any children. Venial, or less serious sins, may also be confessed. It is not obligatory to mention all venial sins. The fact of a scrilegious confession also must be confessed.
(5) To perform the penance which the priest gives you.
This could consist of prayer, an act of charity, or some type of mortification such as fasting.
A note on general absolution
Absolutions granted to groups of people without individual confession and no intention to confess individually are invalid. To instruct people otherwise is a grave injustice. People are obliged to confess their sins since their last good Confession in an individual confession. If you’ve been going to General Absolutions, you have to confess any grave sins in individual confession.
Procedure in the confessional
Let the priest know how long it has been since your last confession and what your state in life is (single, married, a religious or priest). Then, after mentioning your sins, the priest may offer you some spiritual advice, will tell you the penance you are to carry out, and should ask you to say an act of contrition. The priest will then recite the absolution for the forgiveness of your sins.
An Act of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all of my sins, because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.
The Seal of Confession
There are priests who have been put to death for not breaking the confidentiality of the confessional called the Seal of Confession. Others have been tortured, thrown into prison, denounced, slandered, and so on. What is said in Confession cannot be used by the priest in any way. Jesus has us go to Confession to Him before a priest to let us know that we are reconciled both to God and the Church.
Some other advice: Be Clear, Concise, Contrite, Complete (the four “C s”).
Some other advice: Click on this blog’s category: CONFESSION
Accompany me, Father George David Byers, S.S.L., S.T.D., as I begin life as a Catholic Priest-Hermit by choice. Holy Souls Hermitage is dedicated to the sanctification of my fellow priests, bishops, deacons & seminarians going through the purgatory of this life or the next. Prayer and sacrifice go up, of course, for both Benedict XVI and the next Successor of Saint Peter. 
Is a priest permitted to reveal to another priest what he heard in confession of a parishioner?
Hello Catherine!
A priest is totally forbidden to reveal directly or indirectly anything heard in confession, even to another priest, even as part of his own confession (for instance, confessing bad advice, and then saying what it was all about).
He is forbidden even to act secretly on what he has heard in confession. For instance, if someone confesses he’s planted a bomb in a shopping mall, the priest cannot call the police and inform them. Yikes!
The seal of confession is the Blood of Christ. If a priest wants that on his head, so that he’s not only excommunicated, the least of his problems, but is headed straight to hell, not only with his own sins, but the sins of others with which he broke that seal, then he can go ahead and do it.
If a priest makes it clear that he thinks he knows better than the Church on faith and morals, don’t go to confession to him. He might just reveal your confession. He’s already shown you that he has no faith.
Saint Teresa of Avila had the hardest time with confessors. I have as well.
Anyway, I had a long discussion with Cardinal Burke about all this. The result is found in De delictis gravioribus, so that it is now also declared a high crime in the Church to reveal even indirectly what one has heard in confession.
I suppose that priests who hate the Church, and there are some, are not going to know that that document even exists.
Don’t forget, Jesus chose Judas also to let us know that He knew what we would be faced with in the priesthood, eleven saints and one demoniac.
I hope no one one ever broke the seal on you!
Prayers and blessings.
Father George
Thank you Father George for being forth right in explaining something that has troubled me deeply for quite a number of years. Yes the seal was broken. I suffered greatly because of it. I had a feeling that what the priest was doing was going against a sacred oath, but I wasn’t sure what the oath covered. However, having said that, this priest was also my “spiritually adopted priest son” and I was greatly concerned for him. I did not want to expose him or stir up trouble.
I turned to the Lord and offered up all that suffering for the priest whom I confessed to and another who may have been in need of the sacrifices. I just wanted to see if I was in the wrong and misunderstood the seal of the confessional. Now I am at peace. I am presently out of that situation and out of that church.
I agree that there are priests who do not honour the sacred seal of the confessional but there are also a great many who reflect the Lord himself. After a while, parishioners get to know who to go to and who to avoid. However, I cringe when I hear a priest recounting a confession that they heard and they think it’s ok because they aren’t naming names. People have bared their souls and some priests think it’s a funny story. It’s really sad. I will not throw the first stone for we are all in God’s school learning to love one another.
Thank you and God bless you, Father George.
Catherine, I regret terribly that one of my fellow priests has perpetrated this crime against you. You are so very wonderful to have offered up this suffering for him. That is truly awesome and a good example for me.
Seeing this kind of thing go on has been the greatest suffering of my priesthood, and that is saying quite a bit, actually. A real agony in the Garden of Gethsemane. It is such a betrayal of all that is good and holy. When I had that rather long conversation with the great Cardinal Burke about this, he voiced profound — how to say it — utter dismay, horror, at the utter faithlessness of the priests involved.
To mock the one making oneself so utterly vulnerable in trust before the joyous mercy of the Lord Jesus is… I’m just at a loss for words… how about “demonic”… though we ourselves don’t need to devil to do something so terribly evil.
But maybe the priest had a totally deficient formation, or was purposely mal-formed in the seminary. It happens. How well I know. How many times I’ve seen it. I’m not saying he’s evil. I am saying he’s wrong.
You can judge the external actions of someone as being right or wrong. You have to act on what you see. You reacted with such self-sacrifice, but that does not preclude stopping him from doing this again. I am so happy that you are at peace and out of the situation.
When our Lord says “Do not judge, lest you be judged”, He is referring to our inability to render an acurate description of the state of another person’s soul as it stands before the throne of God, for we, surprise, surprise, do not have the beatific vision upon this earth, and do not see things so very clearly. We are likely to see the beam in our our eye, and project that unto others.
HOWEVER, we can judge the external actions. For instance, if your teenage son comes to you, hardly able to walk, drunk out of his mind, and asks for the car keys, you have to judge that he’s had too much to drink, objectively sinfully too much to drink. And you don’t give him the car keys. You don’t judge the internal, subjective state of his soul. Why bother with that? For instance, what if someone gave him a tall glass of orange juice when he was really thirsty, but that orange juice was mostly vodka, or gin, or whatever it is that people spike orange juice with? Your concern is merely what is externally presented.
Yes, we are all a work in progress, as the saying goes. Yet…
Anyway, gravitate to the priest who speaks about his own joy of going to confession frequently, and who does not compromise with faith or morals or… or… the Sacred Liturgy, and has suffered for this, and is steadfast, indeed, steadfast in speaking about his own joy of going to confession frequently.
May the Lord Jesus keep you close to His open Heart. Prayers and blessings!
Father George, thank you so much for your kind counsel. The world seems to be lacking spiritual directors….something we more can pray for. Take care Father and God bless you…
You said that a woman who is on the pill is prohibited from engaging in the marital act. Can you provide a source for that statement, I have never heard it before. Thank you so much Father!!
Hello Sean,
First of all, all hormonal pills are catastrophically bad for the health of the woman, including pyschological health. You may not find the worst side effects listed on the papers coming with the pills. You’ll have to google for that.
Secondly, blocking the procreative end of marriage in the sexual act is not to be done.
Thirdly, all hormonal contraceptive pills have an abortifacient effect as well. All of them.
You can find all sorts of documents on vatican.va, such as Human Vitae, Familaris Consortio, etc. You can also google Human Life International and check out their abundant resources.
Someone told me a while back that there is a non-hormonal method which regulates the cycle of a woman without changing anything in regard to the pro-creative processes of a woman’s body. It seems to amount to reducing stress, exercising, eating right, and so on.
Re-reading my comment I understand it was vague. The more precise version of my question is: Even if a woman is on the pill for the purpose of regulating her cycle, is she still barred from the marital act? Since at least some moral theologians argue that hormonal contraception has some licit medical uses, would even the licit use of the pill for medical reasons prohibit the couple from entering into the marital act? Thank you Father and happy Palm Sunday!!
Sean,
Some moral theologians? Do they say that risking abortion is O.K., you know, for the convenience of nicely regulated cycle? Really? Who? Do they pay attention to all the points I made in my previous comment?
Sean, you seem to have something you want to say. Have no fear. Say it fully… I’m guessing you’re over at Jesuit based Regis University in Denver. School of nursing, perhaps?
Prayers and blessings.
Father,
It is not too much of a guess now is it
. And on that note I am a theology(what they call theology), philosophy (what they call philosophy), and accounting triple major. I agree fully with the Church that artifical contraception is immoral.
I have heard from theology teachers throughout my parochial school career that the pill can be used for hormonal therapy when it is necessary to regulate debilitating hormonal imbalances. Does Church teaching not allow for this position? And if it does, is it still immoral for a woman on the pill to engage in the marital act? My fundamental question is if a woman is on the pill for a licit reason, would it still be illicit for her to engage in the marital act so long as the husband or the wife do not have the intention upon the contraception?
I agree with you that there are much better alternatives to using the Pill for hormonal therapy, and I cringe at the fact that doctors prescribe it so readily. But if a woman theoretically can use the pill licitly, could she not also licitly engage in the marital act while on the pill so long as her (or her husband’s) intention is not on the contraception.
Thank you for the blog Father, it is an oasis in many ways.
Father I think I get what you are saying now. It relates to your post about emergency contraception at Catholic Hospitals. Since the pill oftentimes acts as an abortofacient, it is no longer morally permissible to take that risk. If the pill simply prevented pregnancies and never ended them, then would it be a different story? Thank you for taking the time to do this.
Sean,
It is immoral to risk murdering the innocent for the sake of one’s desire to have a climax. Really!
All hormonal “contraception” is also abortifacient.
Say I have a new gun and want to practice on a moving target. Say I’m in Regis University cafeteria. Say I’m hungry and I want to eat your food too. My intention is merely to eat more food and practice using my gun at the same time. Does my good intention make pulling the trigger in your direction licit? No. Just because you’re involved?
Let’s look at things from the perspective of the one getting flushed out of mother’s womb, shall we?
BTW: that bit with the gun is a common example used by professors round the world (I’ve heard it in a number of countries and even more universities) when, inevitably, this kind of question about intention comes up, as it always does. Nothing personal!
Sean,
Each marital act has to be unitive and pro-creative. Thus, if a woman is taking hormonal contraceptives/abortifacients so as to regulate her cycle, it would still be immoral to have sex. Using a condom on top of the hormonal contracption (your next question?) wouldn’t allow for the act itself to be open to both unitive and pro-creative aspects. So, no.
Thank you Father. That makes sense!! All the best and be assured of my prayers for you and your intentions.
Thanks Sean. Prayers and blessings for you and yours and your studies.
Hello Father George,
I would like to hear your comment and advice on the so-called “doubtful sins”, especially in reference to those sins we cannot easily decide if they were mortal or not.
As a contribution to some concrete aspects of the examination of conscience, the book “To save you” by Jorge Loring, S.I., available at , may be of help. I’ve read the Spanish original version and it does seem helpful (also available in Arab, Hebrew, India’s Gujerati; Russian translation in process).
Thank you. God bless, Juan.
Juan: This is what is great about Confession. You present your sins, and the priest is the judge, up to a point of course. You must present any and all mortal sins in kind and number and important circumstance. For the latter, a middle-aged man killing an old man breaks a commandment, but if that old man is his father, it breaks yet another commandment.
If you are not sure if a sin was mortally sinful, present this also to the priest. He should be able to offer some tips on discernment. For instance, many think that impure thoughts which barrage them for some length of time are necessarily sinful even though they don’t want those thoughts, which is not the case.
It’s too easy to excuse oneself from confessing, so always confess that which you are not sure about. Thus, if someone has a habit of visiting prostitutes, he may think that he has a mitigating circumstance, you know, the force of habit. But, um, no. He must confess his sins.
Scrupulosity is to be avoided, but ask the priest about this.
In addition, the harm done by the abortifacient action of the pill, especially if the woman is on the pill for an extended period of time so that a number of innocent prenatals are killed, far outweighs the good done by the medical effects of that same pill (regulating the woman’s cycle so as to provide some therapeutic benefit). In the third font of circumstances, the harm done by killing innocent prenatals gravely outweighs the medical benefits of the use. Therefore, under the third font of morality, the act is a grave sin.
http://www.catechism.cc/articles/QA.htm
Denise: I’m told that now there is a way to regulate the cycle without using the pill.